Killing me softly
Posted on January 25, 2009
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Aliens, Predators, Terminators, The Bush family… all undesirable threats to mankind. The most dangerous of them all: Zombies. Zombies have no hesitation, no conscience, and have a clear mission of destruction (Zombies could possibly have evolved from the Bush family). They are zealots with superhuman strength able to withstand all but the most devastating attacks. Not to mention they are immune to practically all biological weapons, since well… they’re already dead. Or Undead. Whatever that means.
One advantage, and the only one the un-undead have against them, is that we are much more intelligent. If you’ve ever played scrabble against a zombie, you probably have noticed that they have a very limited vocabulary (kudos if you were able to play a zombie, and keep it from gnawing on your fingers or ripping off a limb). What the zombie lacks in brainpower, they make up with sheer numbers.
I’ve been fully entertained by all the possibilities that I’ve read in this discussion about dealing with a zombie apocalypse. A jewel from the discussion:
Even if the zeds could all be eliminated (that’s just gonna depend on too many unknown factors), if there are ANY governments left, they’re gonna keep some “alive”.
Every wannabe dictator or terrorist would try to keep some locked away somewhere to use as a threat or to try to “weaponize” them.
If there’s still a CDC, they would keep some for experimentation in order to try and find a cure or vaccine, as well as to study them a la’ Dr. Frankenstein.
And if one zed escapes, or is turned loose, or if an experiment ends badly, the whole thing starts all over again. Science may even develop a “new and improved” zombie, or produce an even stronger or more contagious virus.
I believe the OP is referencing George Romero’s zombie scenarios, which is what a lot of zombie lore is based upon. There is one unexplored tactic that has slipped through the cracks of urban legend, the Necromancer.
The Necromancer is a shaman, able to control the undead - including skeltons and zombies, but for the lack of marketability has been ignored by Hollywood and popular culture. As of late, black magic in general has been avoided by Hollywood a terrible omen for moviegoers everywhere.
So my solution? Find the Necromancer and destroy him/her/it. Oh, and destroy the brain of course.
rock band DLC wish list (in no particular order)
Posted on January 21, 2009
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1. Le Tigre - Deceptacon
2. The Smiths - There is a Light That Never Goes Out
3. The Black Keys - Meet Me in the City
4. The Black Keys - Hard Row
5. Amy Winehouse - Help Yourself
6. Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
7. Ra Ra Riot - Each Year
8. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
9. Rilo Kiley - Breakin’ Up
10. Yo La Tengo - Stockholm Syndrome
11. The Strokes - I Can’t Win
12. The Black Keys - Heavy Soul
13. Built to Spill - Carry the Zero
14. CSS - Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
15. Cody ChesNuTT - The Seed (or The Seed 2.0 with The Roots)\
16. Arcade Fire - Haiti
17. Aretha Franklin - The House that Jack Built
18. Radiohead - Reckoner
19. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts
baltimore vs. brooklyn
Posted on January 13, 2009
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baltimore
orioles
camden yards
crabcakes
the wire
omar (yes, he deserves an entire bullet point)
johns hopkins
the chesapeake
the star spangled banner
dan deacon
mica
diplo
baltimore bass connection
baltimore club music (see m.i.a., santogold, spank rock)
the sponge bob
dj blaqstarr
rye rye
brooklyn
coney island
basquiat
m.i.a.
mos def
matt and kim
jay-z (questionable)
pratt (shrug)
gentrification (slowly, but surely)
jamaican food
ikea
nothing says new like saran wrap
Posted on December 24, 2008
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If you’re looking at the root URL of my website, you might have noticed that there’s been a noticable facelift. That’s because that last site was a very poor attempt at starting a new site by first putting something up, then tweaking it as I have time. Turns out time was very short since I’ve been working fulltime, so I’ve had a non-functional placeholder for much longer than planned.
So after months (years really) of delaying a much needed update, I’ve finally got a frame I’m proud to update and add to in the near future. My very first portfolio website still exists here and I plan to keep all my versions of my website archived for public view. That way I’m staying honest about how bad I’ve been in the past, or how much progress I’ve made throughout the years.
That said, this blog is from a time of this accepted hodgepodge of a site. This blog will match the visual feel of my portfolio site, and as soon as I figure out what I’m blogging about specifically I’ll have more focused posts.
I’m excited for the new change, and even bigger changes in 2009.
words on the internets that I dislike
Posted on November 16, 2008
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I didn’t use the word hate because it denotes that these words might actually affect my very soul. Rather, I believe dislike is much more appropriate since my feeling towards these words have more in common with a papercut than Sarah Palin’s affect on feminism.
…I digress
The following are a list of words (in no particular order) that I will someday write some brilliant plugin into my browser that will delete, remove, banish from any webpage I might be perusing.
FAIL, EPIC FAIL, or any incarnation of such
Thanks for bringing back playground vernacular back onto the web, it wasn’t nearly immature enough already.
MEMES
The word was actually interesting until one day a 15 year old reddit/digg/blogger found out what it meant and proceeded to mercilessly title every post with it in the title.
FTW
Passive aggressive way of saying “I told you so”.
Wait, WHAT?
Read my post, it’s interesting. It’s not rhetorical I’m being serious. READ ME. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME ATTENTION.
NSFW
Almost the same as the previous, but with the suspense of getting caught at work sprinkled on top. I mean the only reason you’re considering reading the title or following the link is for the sheer excitement of getting caught. Yes, I know because I’ve followed a couple of these links and thank goodness I work as a creative.
IRL (in real life)
This irks me because it’s based on a fallacy; there is no fake life, an alternate universe, or opposite that it suggests. At least not one that man all agrees upon. I’m all for imagination, but it makes the assumption that the internet is not a part of real life. I don’t know about you but my job is pretty fucking real, and I’m sure as hell I’d never have a dream about working as a Web Designer in a fake life or an alternate universe. Space Cowboy, Pirate Ninja, Katamari. Those are things I would be in whatever would be the opposite of IRL.
Don’t fall for how cute or seemingly cool they might make you feel using them. Remember “hella”? Yeah, it’s just like that.
oops
Posted on August 11, 2008
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been too long since I’ve posted, and I know things look broken. sue me.
actually don’t, then I’ll have to move back in with my parents.
why I love my favorite artists
Posted on December 4, 2007
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How many musicians do you know will embrace the fact that piracy is unavoidable? Now out of those, how many do you actually listen to?
In case you haven’t heard, free music has been all the rage. Heck, Trent Reznor even broke out and created his own label (yes it’s not the first ever.) The recording industry is one clusterfuck of obsolete business models (as are many other sectors, ahem Detroit muscle where you at?) and if recent developments in free music (see Radiohead, Saul Williams, and Trent) are any indications, we’re about to see an evolution in distribution.
So what got me started on this thing? I was excited about finding out that one of my favorite groups is playing tonight and started to listen to their tracks, in preparation of course. Then I noticed a nice treat that just cemented my respect for these guys. Take a look:
Hint: Phonte is 1/2 of Little Brother.
Big up to LB, I’ll see you at Southpaw tonight. Holler.
lolrevenge
Posted on October 31, 2007
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You get it. All the time. It’s in your mailbox, and immediately in the nearest receptacle (hopefully recycling bin).
Now it’s time to get even. Well, more than even - and to your own morbid delight. You can use that pre-paid bulk postage from your junk mail and send it back with something showing how you really feel. Pack a box (a small one, just so that it surely makes it to its destination) with a broken lightbulb, trash, rotten banana, or anything in your imagination and affix that prepaid return slip on top.
Moar details here.
shoes!
Posted on June 26, 2007
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When it comes to shoes, I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve. Next to timepieces, there’s no doubt that shoes definitely seal the deal when it comes to style. So you can imagine my excitement when I was referred to the site lastnightsshoes (.com). Same idea as lastnightsparty, but instant gratification of seeing shoes in action. It’s not exactly porn, but as a shoe whore I can definitely appreciate it for the superficiality.
hockney, meet cultural retardation.
Posted on June 15, 2007
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David Hockney has come out to say that the iPod is the reason why modern art has died. Really David? The iPod has killed our culture? Did the Walkman really kill photography in the 80’s? Did the CD really harm our views of art?
Wow. I’ve heard a lot of stupid shit, but this is in a class of its own.. being that it is David Hockney.
Instead of embracing technology, he’s going to blame a social phenom as the reason why popular culture has shunned modern art. Well David, let me tell you there are BIGGER things that are messing up our culture that affect the perception of art. How about Myspace? Have you seen some of the layouts? They are testament to the death of anything remotely artistic, or modern for that matter. It’s like a peephole into the death of culture.
A lack of culture really is the driving force behind the apathy towards modern art. The iPod doesn’t foster this lack of culture, in fact it just encourages capitalism, expression, and status (which at this point is not completely valid, as everyone has an iPod). Why don’t you just blame Rap music, or some other cultural reference that you don’t completely understand?
David, thanks for staying relevant and at the forefront of culture.
keep looking »